


No Underage Skating Students Were Given Alcohol in the Production of this Work

by Koane (volleyball_crow)



Series: Be My Coach, Yuuri!, a series [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, One Shot, Short, Short One Shot, Viktor is Not Sorry, Viktor is drunk, Yuuri is mortified, Yuuri is... away for reasons, i'll delete it, if i don't like this when i wake up in the morning, once again it's 4:09 AM i take no responsibility for this, their poor student has to deal with drunk!Viktor on his own
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 17:12:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9667637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/volleyball_crow/pseuds/Koane
Summary: There are many types of drunks. Angry drunks, melancholic drunks, weepy drunks, daring drunks, sleepy drunks... Coach Nikiforov, as his new skater finds out, is the bragging-disguised-as-ranting type.a.k.a. Yuuri is VERY eros and Viktor has  S U F F E R E D





	

Being a skater under the joint custody of Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov would be, in many ways, a ~~wet~~ dream come true for pretty much all figure skaters out there. And to their first student, it is. It really is. 

Except when it's... not.

Like when Viktor is drunk, and his husband is not nearby.

"So how did bringing out Yuuri's eros work out for you, Viktor, you may ask."

"I have literally never asked."

Viktor ignores him and takes a deep breath, suddenly gravely serious. "I," Viktor announces grandiosely, looking a little bit like he's in pain, "have suffered."

"I know," said poor student says to the air, having been subjected to this particular drunken speech at least six times. It was absolutely fascinating the first time. Still pretty exciting the second. By the fourth he'd been considering retirement just to get away.

"I have suffered _greatly_ ," Viktor continues, hand clutching his heart.

"I believe you."

"I mean, you look at him, and he's just--so cute, you know? And so shy, and half the time he's all curled into himself, like some kind of tiny defenseless animal trying to seem smaller, right?"

"Uh huh."

"So, my first problem: that's his average level of cute, but he has an even higher, unbearable level of cute that he brings out quite often. He _leans_ into me, Chris, he pretty much curls up right there under my arm, it's fucking adorable."

"My name is not Chris."

"And the sleeve thing. The _sleeve thing_. To catch my attention, or, or--to stay close to me when we're walking, not even in the middle of a crowd or anything, just because, he'll grab my sleeve and hold on to it, and he blushes and can't look me in the eye and it's really, really fucking adorable. I swear to you, Chris, I die. Every single time. I want to _eat him alive_."

"Coach, you may not have noticed, but I'm actually not Christophe Giacometti."

"It's so different from when we met! The contrast is delicious and all, but it kills me. And then, then there's his eros. That's my second problem. He does that thing. With his face. And his hips. And his--everything. My god. The way he _moves_. And! You know what's worse! He acts all innocent but HE KNOWS what he does to me. He knows. And he doesn't care, he just does it more. Did I tell you about that time at--hell, I don't even remember where we were, but he was about to perform, we were right on the rink, cameras and people everywhere! My shy and proper Yuuri, poof, gone! He goes and grabs my hand and leans in and the look on him! I swear to fucking god I thought he was going to kiss me _or worse_ right then and there, Stephane--"

"That's not my name either..."

"--but that bastard touches his forehead to mine, stares right into my eyes like, like--I don't even know, but the LOOK on his face, my _god_ , I felt like he'd set me on fire, what is UP with that--and he tells me, listen to this, Chris--"

"Went back to that one, did you."

"--he tells me _don't look away from me for a single second_ , and then just goes and skates away and then he licked his lips at me at beginning of his choreography and I wanted him to _take me right there on the ice_." Viktor let out all the air in his lungs and deflated into a sad pancake covering the table right in front of him, ignoring all the empty glasses around him. "And then after he's done he's suddenly all big wide eyes again and trembling like a kitten."

"Right."

"And all the onsen baths. Oh, I suffered. So much skin, and I wasn't even allowed close to him for the longest time. Makkachin was all over him from day one but Yuuri wouldn't let me so much as sleep with him! And then, when I could finally touch him without him getting spooked, I still had to hold back because one little touch too far and he was jumping out of my lap and running out of the room and his ears got all red when he was embarrassed it was so damn cute, do you understand this level of suffering, Chris. _Do you_."

Viktor's poor student actually takes a moment to consider this for the first time. Thinks back to every time he's watched Yuuri Katsuki (in the flesh! Right there in front of him! He still has trouble believing it) do something ridiculous in practice like fourteen jumps in a row, all landed cleanly, or say something new and interesting that he's never mentioned in an interview, or put on an old costume for a photoshoot, or generally breathed and existed in his pupil's presence, and he remembers how hard it was to stop himself from having a heart attack or making 500 new posts on instagram or bursting into tears or calling the Katsuki Yuuri fanclub president in hysterics (or all four, possibly at the same time) and he has an answer.

"Actually--"

Viktor covers his mouth, a murderous look in his eyes. "You don't. You have no idea. I have suffered the most and the longest and no one can understand me. No one _better_ ever understand me, do you understand me."

"...yes, Coach."

**Author's Note:**

> Turns out Mila recorded the whole thing, and she shows it to Yuuri as soon as possible. 
> 
> At the resulting antics, their student finds himself once again considering early retirement.


End file.
